* The New Living Will..........

*I am sure you all know the importance of a living Will. Today most hospitals will not admit you without one. So then, here is a new and improved form forwarded to me by my friend. I for one have mine on file signed and notarized.........

THE NEW LIVING WILL....

• I, "Me, Myself and I", being of sound mind and body (well lets go with this, ok?), do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means.

• Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of pinhead politicians who couldn't pass ninth-grade biology if their lives depended on it, or any lawyers/doctors interested in simply running up the bills and using what little savings I have left, that might be passed on to my beloved children, spouse or significant other (and oh yeah, if my spouse/significant other is currently living with a female other then myself, ignore him as well!)

• Therefore, if a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to ask for, or inquire about at least one of the following:

• ______ Where's my boys?
• ______ A glass of red wine
• ______ A shot of Tuaca, straight up, with a beer chaser
• ______ A Margarita
• ______ A Pizza
• ______ Chinese Food
• ______ Steak, Lobster or Crab Legs
• ______ Got any Sunflower Seeds?
• ______ Wait, is this my Destiny?
• ______ Sex?
• ______ Any comments on my Blog today?

It should be presumed that I won't ever get better. When such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my appointed person or next of kin and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes, and call it a day!

Signed _________________ Dated ___________________

*I received this via e-mail and tweaked it to meet my own personnel needs and desires relevant upon my own life. If any of the above occurs, my spouse, children or significant other, friends will know the end is near.........."