It Is What It Is.........

I saw a show tonight so profound it may quite possibly have changed my life. About a man dieing from Cancer. A noble, brave, honorable type of man. The kind of man that has left footprints in the souls of almost every person he has crossed....

While the man's courage and conviction of his destiny left me in awe, his wife who will one day be the survivor of the legacy he leaves behind, affected me just as much.

When speaking of her husband's impending death she said, "It is, what it is." Simple and pure, spoken in truth and compassion. A fact she cannot change but instead embraces with knowledge that how she deals with her loss may be greater then pretending it never existed.

We all experience loss, lose grasp of the very things that make us feel alive, make us feel loved, makes us part of who we are. Somewhere along the line, someone takes a left, when we take a right and as we look over our shoulder in search of our destiny, the plan we envisioned, the dream we nurtured we find it running in the opposite direction of no fault of our own.

Maybe, just maybe our destiny, is bigger then a person, place or thing. Maybe our destiny is a chance not taken on their part, a path the lazy man cannot follow, a destination not achievable by all. Maybe our desires are greater, grander, felt with more conviction then theirs. Maybe, just maybe, life 'It is what it is.' Maybe it's God letting us know, that there is something so much more in store for us, then that little thing, person, goal that we thought meant everything......

Maybe it really isn't maybe. Perhaps things happen for a reason. To learn and grow bigger then the things we thought were possible. Maybe God believes we are capable of so much more. I think beliveing in ourselves is far more important then believing in those around us...... Maybe surviving has everything to do with ourselves, and maybe we deserve so much more then "that" person is capable of giving, maybe we give "them" so much more then they deserve. Maybe it's up to us, Maybe, "It Is What It Is".............

Have A Litte Faith In Me........

When the road gets dark
And you can no longer see
Just let my love throw a spark,
baby Have a little faith in me

When the tears you cry
Are all you can believe
Just give these loving arms a try,
baby Have a little faith in me
Have a little faith in me
Have a little faith in me
Have a little faith in me
Have a little faith in me

When your secret heart
Cannot speak so *easily*
Come here darlin’
From a whisper start
To have a little faith in me

When your back’s against the wall
Just turn around, you will see I will catch ya,
I will catch your fall
Just have a little faith in me
Have a little faith in me
Have a little faith in me
Have a little faith in me
Have a little faith in me

Well, I’ve been loving you for such a long, long time baby
Expecting nothing in return
Just for you to have a little faith in me
You see time, time is our friend *for you and me*
Cause for us there is no end
All you gotta do is have a little faith in me

I said I will hold you up, I will hold you up
Your strength gives me enough
So have a little faith in me

Hey baby, oh, baby
All ya gotta do is have a little faith in me
All ya gotta do is have a little faith in me
A little faith in me

I'm happy to say, today, I believe in me..............

You are My I Love You....

I am your parent;

you are my child.

I am your quiet place;

you are my wild.

I am your calm face;

you are my giggle.

I am your wait;

you are my wiggle.

I am your carriage ride;

you are my king.

I am your push'

you are my swing.

I am your audience;

you are my clown.

I am your London Bridge;

you are my falling down.

I am your carrot sticks;

you are my licorice.

I am your dandelion;

you are my wish.

I am your water wings;

you are my deep.

I am your open arms;

you are my running leap.

I am you way home;

you are my new path.

I am your dry towel;

you are my wet bath.

I am you dinner;

you are my chocolate cake.

I am your betime;

you are my wide awake.

I am your finish line;

you are my race.

I am your praying hands;

you are my saying grace.

I am your favorite book;

you are my new lines.

I am your night-light;

you are my starshine.

I am your lullaby;

you are my peekaboo.

I am your good-night kiss;

you are my I love you.

Written by: Maryann K. Cusimano

Summer Of 64'....... The Story Of Me....

It was the summer of 64', where free love roamed the country and lingered, if for one moment in the small town where I was born. Lyndon B. Johnson was running the country by default, trying to fill in the footsteps of JFK, a national icon shot down in the prime of his life. Vietnam was raging on, in a country far away, while America was humming to the tune of "Just a Spoon Full of Sugar" from one of the years biggest movies, Mary Poppins.

The irony of it all left the bitterness of saccharine in your mouth. The war angered the youth of our country but the youth in our family were oblivious to to the chaos the rest of America was experiencing.

In the home that I was born, a celebration was taking place. Johnson had just signed the Food Stamp Act designed to aid needy families in a cooperative federal state food program. It was a sign of things to come. Relief, when there was thought to be none. In a blended family with six children news like this rocked our world with greater impact than the Beatles's national tour. I grew up in Reno, a small thriving community set in the foothills of the Sierra Nevada mountains, known not so much for its beauty, rather it's ability to attract dreamers. It lured visitors with the hope of fortune and prosperity, a land a riches.

It was the hope of these things that attracted my parents to this desert paradise. My parents worked the business, or perhaps it was the business that worked them. As if pre-determined by the food gods; my parents were destined to meet. My father was cook in one of the larger casinos on Reno's mini strip; my mother a waitress in another. Their union joined by the commonality of food, but nurtured by alcohol and gambling.

The gaming industry helped my family put food on the table; almost as much as it took it away. In a state that boasted no income taxes a disease was spreading with my family: addiction. Alcohol ran much more freely than Kool-Aid, a feat of its own considering the number of children involved. My mother was on her third marriage and giving birth to her sixth and final child. The world as she knew it was about to change, never to be the same for any of us again.

Our family was a huge boulder rolling down a steep hill. Momentum was building, there would be no stopping what was to happen. We were headed for a crash, breaking us all apart; leaving nothing behind but a handful of sharp-edged, jagged rocks. It would be years before the edges would be rubbed smooth and the damage repaired....................

This is my story, albeit not always perfect. My past has had it's challenges, full of mistakes and on occasion regrets. But when all is said and done, like those of my past and those of my future, all mistakes and challenges were made in search of love. Flawed as they may be, but always sought in search of truth...........

Viva Las Vegas, Baby!!!

Whoo Hoo!! I'm leaving early Monday morning for a three day, two night all expense paid luxury trip to Las Vegas!!! I'm going with a friend I've known for a long time but have recently become much closer to. This gig is half work (a new milestone in my life) and a whole lot of fun!! Our motto for this trip.............. "Viva Las Vegas! What happens in Vegas, Stays in Vegas!" It's been a long time coming... But NOW it's MY turn to LIVE it up....... NO regrets!!

Delete...

No matter how many times you may hit the Delete button, I still exist.......

Drowning In You....

Drowning In You
by Gretchen Peters

you blow in harder than a hurricane
i’m always standing in the pouring rain
sometimes it’s all that i can do
to keep from drowning in you


you come on softer than a summer wind
love me til i’m weak and then you’re gone again
and i ain’t got no anchor to hold on to
to keep from drowning in you


bridge: you always pull me under
while i’m trying to stay afloat
you bring the rain and thunder
i bring the boat


i used to come running when you’d cry for help
but this time around baby i gotta save myself
gotta keep my head above the blue
gotta keep from drowning in you

sometimes it’s all that i can do
to keep from drowning in you


©2002 sony/atv tunes, purple crayon music

Life Lesson - Via E-mail....

One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well.

The animal cried piteously for hours

as the farmer tried to figure out what to do.

Finally, he decided the animal was old,

and the well needed to be covered up anyway;

it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey.

He invited all his neighbors to come over to help him.

They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well.

At first, the Donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly.

Then, to everyone's amazement he quieted down.

A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well.

He was astonished at what he saw.

With each shovel of dirt that hit his back,

the donkey was doing something amazing.

He would shake it off and take a step up.

As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal,

he would shake it off and take a step up.

Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and happily trotted off!

Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt.

The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up.

Each of our troubles is a steppingstone.

We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up!

Shake it off and take a step up.

Remember the five simple rules to be happy:

Free your heart from hatred - Forgive.

Free your mind from worries - Most never happen.

Live simply and appreciate what you have.

Give more - Expect less.......

NOW ............ Enough of that crap!

The donkey later came back, and bit the farmer who had tried to bury him.

The gash from the bite got infected and the farmer eventually died in agony from septic shock.

MORAL FROM TODAY'S LESSON:

When you do something wrong,

and try to cover your ass,

it always comes back to bite you!

This Month's Life Lessons.....

What I learned this month............

• I'm allmost 43 years old and am just now begining to figure out what makes a man and what doesn't......
• Honesty and integrity are not traits we are born with, and alot of people never obtain those qualities, yet preach about them daily......
• "I'm sorry" doesn't make everything better. The older I get the more I've come to realize it's just another word and it doesn't fix anything or make the hurt go away......
• Karma is a powerful thing. What comes around, goes around. Sometimes it just takes longer to get to those that that warrant it's total effect......
• To thrive people must grow and change. Sometimes we have to let go of the things we thought we loved in order for this to happen. Once we allow that to happen we can step back and see things more objectively......
• If consumed in excess, Tuaca doesn't always make everything seem so much clearer.....
• If consumed in excess, Tuaca can make some things seem a lot better then it really was...
• I'm too old for hangovers....
• My inner voice won't fail me if I don't fail it.....
• The older I get, the better life gets.....
• My most important job is to raise my two boys to be strong, smart men with character and integrity, to replace those on this earth lacking such characteristics....
• Children put all life's chaos into perspective....